Thankful. Grateful. And Forever changed.
I have been doing a month of thankful posts. Today, is a blog. Today is this. There have been so many times in my life that I’ve picked up a pen and paper or typed away at a keyboard to release. Sometimes the release feels amazing. Other times, it’s a heavy release. Regardless of how it feels, it feels damn good to get it out.
Some blog posts are relatively nonsense. A jumbling of words to express myself. My blog is similar to when I kept the diaries under my pillow during my teenage years, some days its all over the place. Other days it serves a purpose of telling a story.
Today’s post is simple. I’m Thankful. I’m Grateful. And I’m forever changed.
Here I sit, 39 years young, and so humbled by my life. Of course, I have had terrible days. I’ve had hard times. I’ve gone through the ringer more than I would wish on anyone, but I have also Loved, Learned, Grown, and been blessed beyond measure.
I like doing this 30day thankful challenge because I don’t have to sum up in just a paragraph what means most to me. However, I don’t even think 30 days is enough. I feel I can wake up every day of my life and be thankful.
I am not saying my life is perfect. Trust me its far from it. The life I do have, is perfect for me. Its the life I dreamed of when I was kid. Surrounded by my family. The house, where the walls around us carry the laughter. The bed to sleep in at night and lay there letting the woes of the day go away. The full bellies with food I find joy in cooking for my family. The chaos. The loudness, that won’t be there always. The grossness in the fart/poop stories that come from the boy’s wont always last. The jammed packed schedule or fitting everything in. The long days that fly by at the same time.
I won’t always have my parents alive. I won’t always have Sunday dinners, campfires, cookouts, brewery stops, brunches, and the love around me from this oversized and dysfunctional bunch.
I’m thankful that I wake up next to the love of life. That regardless of the challenges that have been put on our path, we overcome. That we found each other again.
I’m thankful to have some amazing best friends. Ones that have become my family.
I’m so thankful for mended relationships this year. Openingfamily space for our boys and for us.
I’m thankful that I learned how to forgive. How to move past old wounds that I do not need to carry. I’m thankful for allowing more love into my heart.
I’m thankful for a career that I love. A career that I can grow in. One that challenges me to be better. To keep pushing and learning. I’m thankful that people took a chance on me.
I’m thankful that I survive. And I keep on surviving. The good, the bad, and the daily.
Sometimes, we get so focused on the bad. It can be one negative thought to start off our day and it can continue to affect those around us like a cancer. Spread the anger, the hate, the negativity. Making it heavy on ourselves and the ones that love us most. Taking that simple step back to reevaluate the way in which you hold yourself, sets the tone for your health. Mentally and Physically. You can do anything that you wish. You just have to work for it.
You want a new job? Work at it. You want a healthier lifestyle? Work at it. You want a better relationship with a partner, family,or friendship? Work at it.
YOU don’t get what you wish for, YOU get what you WORK for. You’ve got this. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. Look at your life, see what you have. If you have enough, celebrate it. And even if you want more, celebrate that too. Its good to have the balance of being grateful for the life you have and strive for more.
I am not the same woman that I started 2021 with. And I’m not even the same woman that is going to start 2022. I am a constantly evolving Woman. I have a fire in me that has grown. I have a passion and a desire to live the best life. Embracing my journey. Embracing the people on my path. Entwining the love in my heart with the growth of my future.
I will not look back at my past with sadness. I will value you for bringing me to my present and paving the way of my future. Without it, I wouldn’t be me. Without the lessons, the pain, I wouldn’t be as strong, as wise, or even as grateful for who I am.
I am thankful for my tribe. The people that will be a part of me….Past, Present and Future. Because every good book hasmultiple chapters.
Last and Probably the most important this year, I am THANKFUL for me. I am thankful for the woman that I am becoming…. I am thankful. I am grateful. And I am forever changed.
